but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Floor bacon is actually really good
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
