I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
