she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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