walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
