READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
