Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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