Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
