1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
