Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
