look no pants
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
