1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
