Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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