Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
