sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
