My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
