OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I love having hate sex.
She bit a glass in half.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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