i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
