i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
