Dual....:-)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
