my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
