Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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