i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
