It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
