i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
