i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
