this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
