the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize