And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
