I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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