halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
