Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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