...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
