So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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