You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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