I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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