Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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