You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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