i just made my gag reflex go away.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
