btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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