Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
