who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
