remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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