This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
