Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
