But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
