Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
