piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
