so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize