Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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