I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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