When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
