Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
