i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
