fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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