Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
