so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
