There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize