DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
