I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
