Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I came so hard my ears popped.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
